Monday, July 30, 2012

it was time.

You know when you feel like you could sleep for hours? Not cause you want to, cause you need to?  Yeah. That.

We have some closure.  We have sort of closed a chapter.  Or tied a ribbon on a present.  We celebrated my grandmother this weekend. We cried some.  We laughed a lot.  We drank even more.  It was exactly the way she would have wanted it to be (except for her not being there).  We toasted her.  I managed to give a speech, albeit slightly teary.  We sorted through 40 years of stuff.  It was cathartic.  And emotional.  And fun.  And it needed to happen.  Exactly the way it happened.

I still miss her like crazy.  I still have trouble believing she's just not here anymore.  But here's the thing.  What she left behind?  The family she helped create?  The love that we share?  And how much closer her passing has brought us?  It's all pretty awesome.

And so now we hold hard onto our memories.  We remember the good.  We move on.  With her always in our hearts.  And bits and pieces of her life scattered throughout ours.

If you're interested in what I cried my way through at the celebration, it's below.  Happy Monday, friends.

My name is Corey and I’m the oldest grandchild, also the only granddaughter which makes me the favorite.

There is something safe about your grandparents house.  Something comforting about knowing that there will always be neopolitan ice cream scooped into coffee mugs if you need it.  That you can go there and take nothing with you because she’s got it all there.  There’s something about walking through the garage into the kitchen knowing she will be in there.  And that you can always go there.  Always.  Grandma didn’t get mad at you.  She couldn’t be mad at you, even if mom and dad were.  To her, we were all perfection.  She loved us all unconditionally.  Without a question.  When my brother got a tattoo and as a result couldn’t go home for spring break, he came here.  Grandma would take him.  She’d take any of us.  In a heartbeat.  She’d hold your hand or scratch your back.  Or just say ‘oh hi sweetie’ in a way that only she could.  For us she was safety and comfort and unconditional love. 
We are so lucky.

There is a poem that reads: A wonderful bird is the pelican whose bill will hold more than his bellican. Food for a week he can hold in his beak but I’ll be damned if I know how the hellican. 

We used to stand on the balcony of the 7th floor condo they would rent in Ponce Inlet every summer and watch the pelicans fly by.   She told me once she was coming back as one.  That once she was gone, she'd be back, as a pelican.  So the next time you go to my grandmother’s favorite place on the planet, the beach take a moment and watch the pelicans soar.  Watch them effortlessly glide through the air above the waves.  Marvel at their beak first plummets into the water.   And remember the woman we celebrate here tonight.  Because she’s up there, soaring.  And telling us all to stop making such a fuss over her and enjoy the beer.

Please, raise your glass to our grandmother who couldn’t have loved us more if she tried… We hope the greens are well manicured.  That the sand soft between your toes.  And that your happy hours are spent alongside Umpah with cold beer and martinis on the rocks.

To Grandma.

Monday, July 16, 2012

observations and revalations.

It is not ever socially acceptable to see a cute baby in a stroller and pull out your cell phone and take a picture of said baby just cause you work at Sunglass Hut and the baby is wearing sunglasses.  Not ever.

I made a cake with Greek yogurt instead of just about everything else.  Because I have a Pinterest addiction.    It also makes me feel slightly inadequate when it comes to just about everything.  But has equally fabulous ideas. I mean where else would I learn how to clean out my dishwasher, get a fabulous idea for a birthday party and also learn about these???

Along those same lines... I want every room in my house painted except for three.  Yesterday.  But the outside needs to be painted too.  I can think of a million things I'd rather spend that money on.

A bestie and I are driving 2 1/2 hours one way to go to Trader Joe's on Saturday.  Also to escape our children.  Also to stop at the outlets. It's for the greater good.

Do not go see Magic Mike.

I took both of my kids to the grocery store in the rain because we were out of milk.  Only extra item I came home with? Rainbow marshmallows.  Victory.

On a non-sarcastic note, I'm pinching myself over how much fun I'm having with my photography business and how awesome things are. Pinching myself.  Like, did this really work out? For reals?

It rains here everyday right now. Usually in the afternoon.  Which for me means it's time to crawl under the covers and sleep.  Someday my 3 year old will understand.  Someday.

That same 3 year old (who's really dangerously close to four) has learned the word brilliant.  And now everything I do is brilliant.  Finally, someone who agrees with me!

On that birthday note, he wants a surprise super hero party.  This will be the easiest surprise party I ever throw.  And we're getting a bounce house for it.  Our postage stamp of a backyard is JUST big enough.  We may be able to rig up something so you can actually slide from the top of the lanai into the bounce house.

The Best part? A blog post, old school O&R style.

Thursday, July 12, 2012

1 year.

It's been more than a year since my better half took a new job opportunity that landed on our doorstep as if out of no where.  And six weeks after he left, we followed.

It was a year ago today that the kids and I were wheels up, Florida bound.  I cried when the plane took off. Big fat tears of sadness.  Ugly cries.  I'm sure it didn't freak my kids out at all.  Change is scary.  Leaving the people you know and love, also scary. And horribly sad.  And everything happened at lightening speed.  The house we loved, our first home, the one we brought our kids home from the hospital to, sold super fast.  And we had to leave.

We arrived to a two bedroom apartment where BGB (throw back on the acronym) had to sleep in a bathroom.  And elephants lived upstairs.  We went through house after house, offer after offer.  Somewhere in the back of my mind I knew that was all happening for a reason but at the time, it sucked.  But we landed where we were supposed to.

A lot has happened in a year.  Some of it good, great even.  Some of it terribly sad.  All of it for a reason.

We have made a home here.  A home we love.  Surrounded ourselves with people who make us better or who at least make us laugh.  We have nuzzled right in.  But what we haven't done is forgotten.  The people and place we loved.  The friends who we made our family.  Their spot is still firmly planted in our hearts.  Always will be.  That's the beauty of friendship.  As long as you nourish it, it grows.

That's what's cool about life.  It changes.  But some things, don't have to.