Wednesday, September 21, 2011

Manipulation Station

I just brewed my second cup.  I am tired.  Cause I have a manipulator.  She's to die for.  You could eat her.  Case and point.

This child.  She and her brother are the light of our lives.  We adore her.  She's fun.  Funny.  Precious.  And she does not sleep.

2:30 and 5 in the morning.  She was awake.  Crying.  I let her cry.  For what felt like an eternity last night.  Finally I gave in.  Fed her.  Prayed for her to sleep until 7.  Not so much.  5.  Another bottle. 

I know better.  I do.  I know that she doesn't need to eat in the middle of the night.  I would call it an ear infection.  Only I know better.  I would call it teething.  But I know better.  I would call it a growth spurt.  I may still call it that.  But most likely, it's manipulation.  She likes to eat in the middle of the night.  I understand that.  I would like it too.  Someone brings me some peanut butter m&m's at 3am, I'll eat them. 

It has to stop.  She's old enough.  More than old enough.  Her brother slept from 7-7 at 12 weeks.  11 months.  She's 11 months.  In my defense it hasn't always been this way, just the last few weeks.  And I am sucker for her.  And I want to savor every last ounce of her baby-ness.  And I don't want her to turn one.  So I am a sucker. 

It has to stop.  We need to sleep more than four hours at a time.  Need to.  Tonight will not be that night.  Tonight.  She cries.  I gave it 20 minutes last night which terrifies me for tonight. 

So Mamas.  I need a pep talk.  I need someone to remind me it's not torture.  I need someone to remind me how good sleep is.  And I need someone to come take my place tonight.  Cause I'm a sucker for her.

Ready, set, go. 


Simone said...

once she's got this down, you will have given her a great gift, to be able to calm herself down and put herself to sleep. trust your gut though, transitions are hard on wee one's and you're no sucker, just a good mama. go you! said...

Girl, you can do it. It won't kill either of you. Get some earplugs and let her wail.

Jill said...

Ok, if you're asking for Mama's opinions, I hope I won't be crucified for being on the other side of this one. I know sleep is one of those hot-button topics, so I'll tread lightly.

I am a member of the camp that believes that an 11 month old isn't capable of manipulation. She has needs, those needs are not extinguished at night unless she learns they will not be met. Biologically speaking, a human baby expects to be within arm's reach of her mother at all times, including, some might say especially, night time.

The way I looked at interrupted sleep was like this: I have a need for 8 hours of sleep. Violet had a need to be fed, cuddled, and reassured at night. Since I am an adult, I am better equipped to deal with the consequences of my needs NOT being met. I never cried uncontrollably when I didn't get enough sleep. I may have felt like it, but I didn't.

Being a sucker for your kid and not wanting to hear her cry is normal. I am stunned that so many mothers go against what feels right in the name of sleep training.

I'll step off of my soapbox now. I know that you are a wonderful, nurturing, mother. We will have to agree to disagree on this one. Good luck getting some rest!

Corey said...

no crusifiction here jill! I think everyone has to do what's best for their child. I think where I am so frustrated is that I know she's not really hungry (or at least I don't think she's hungry!) she just wants me. Which I get and I am ok with to a point. But I am also concerned that she needs to be able to self soothe. Don't worry. I won't go cold turkey on her tonight. But I am going to do the whole let her cry, go in, let her know I'm there, let her cry some more. She just fought a nap for a solid 40 before she finally fell asleep. I wish these things came with individualized manuals! :)

McCulloch Family said...

1. Love your new pic. The brunette hair flatters you (and your freckles!).
2. Maybe she is going through something. But no matter, she should still be able to put herself back to sleep. Like you said, self soothing. She can do it. So can you. Turn the monitor off and put the pillow over your head. She will NEVER remember you letting her cry it out. Ever. Promise.
3. This, too, shall pass.


Lauren Stahl said...

I am a little late on this and I can't give advice really, because I am pretty against CIO, and I am a co-sleeper with tanner, but you mentioned she is trying to stand up, wll sleep regresses when they hit major milestones and pulling up and getting ready to walk are pretty huge! Also, she really might be hungry. Tanner gets so wrapped up in daily activity and checking everything out he is too excited to eat a lot so he catches up at night when it is quiet and dark. Good luck!