Friday, February 25, 2011

2 Tuitions

There are four chairs at my kitchen table.

Sure, the mini seats like a million but it sure is easy to have one kid on each side and not have to climb my ass in the back to buckle someone in. Our house has three bedrooms (yes, I know we won't live here forever, just go with it). We have an oldest and youngest. No middle child. A boy and a girl. Most importantly two healthy beautiful children.

We will only have to throw one rehearsal dinner and one wedding and pay for two college tuitions (a thought that makes me already want to throw up for a million reasons the least of which is the offensive cost of college, we will take donations if you are so inclined).

We play man on man defense and someone always has one parents attention, or can at least vie for it. On a selfish note, I would be done with pregnancy before 30 and have my body back. You know, once I finish nursing E around kindergarten. Kidding. Totally kidding. Ew.


Is E our last baby? Is that the last time we will experience the miracle that is child birth? Cause I didn't prepare for that. I didn't savor it enough, did I? Is she the last baby we will bring home from the hospital? Did we already do that one last magical time?

And I waver. And get mushy and start to second guess everything I mentioned above.

Here's what I know. No planned babies for us this year. Possibly not ever. Because wanting to have another baby is different from having another child. It's got nothing to do with juggling it all and everything to do with us being complete.

Plus, where would they sit?

The Best part? Being perfectly content, happy, ecstatic and in love with the status quo. Oh and turning 30 tomorrow.

Happy weekend friends. xoxo


Lauren Stahl said...

I wouldn't think to much about if you are going to have another one because you will miss all of E's amazing things she is doing as a baby. So you might not have cherished being pregnant, can it really be cherished anyway? But, you can cherish every moment with E and act as if it is the last time and then if now, well surprise you can cherish those moments too! This might be easy for me to say though knowing I am done, (I was tied up so there is no second guessing or anything for us) but just enjoy your moments know, they go way to fast!

Megan said...

Ditto, C :) Happy Birthday weekend!!

Jess said...

Before 30 I had a boy and a girl. A 3 bedroom house and no extra kitchen chairs. So yeah. I totally get it.

But then, a few years later, there was that yearn.

And along came Livie.

And then there was a husband, a few beers, and a night I barely remember, and along comes baby 4.

We still have a 3 bedroom house. And a table with only 4 chairs. And an SUV that thankfully has that extra third row because I can't afford to let it go as it's almost paid off.

I think it's about just letting things happen as they may. Some are done with two. I wanted one more. I got two more.

And either way? It's totally okay. Yeah, it's chaos. And no one ever has more than one hand to help them, but they have each other now too.

Jess said...

Rereading that it sounds like I"m being all "you should have more!", and I don't mean it like that at all. I get it. Been there. It changed for me, it might not for you, but either way? You have a family you love.

That's what I was trying to say.

I'll shut up now

Kimberly {YeP, they are all mine} said...

I am not telling you to have another one, because I REALLY think #3 is what made me officially Krazy, but...

We have three kids in a three bedroom, one bath house. We have a table with only four chairs. My POS station wagon BARELY holds us all, and it certainly isn't comfortable. So, it can be done ;-)

But, the 30 thing? I get it. I had all my babies before 30 and I am relieved to have all that out of the way.

Corey said...

So it's for sure not something i am ruling out... But the idea of three right now, too much, but I have a four month old so that's probably normal.... Right??? Too bad i can't squeeze in another by 30... Love hearing everyones voices on this one!!!

Aly said...

As I started reading this post I thought to myself 'wow, she really makes a strong argument for just having two. Maybe I should lean more toward the 'being done' side.'

then I got to the wavering part...

I'm right there with ya. For me, it also has to do with having only boys & wanting a daughter. It wasn't until this past week that I started to feel sad that Charlie may be our last & wanting one more tiny little person in our lives... boy or girl. (and honestly we have so much boy clothing & gear that it would be pretty kind on our budget to stay on the blue team.)

The person who vocalized it best for me is my sister-in-law Jill. We were talking about whether we were done with Charlie & she simply asked "do you think everyone is here yet?". Deep down I know the answer is no.