It flew. I don't think 12 weeks could have gone any faster. That's right. I go back to work on Monday. To be clear 'back to work' for me means work on Monday and Tuesday and home the rest of the week. Still. It flew.
So I go back with mixed emotions. Let's leave out what I do for a living, how I feel about my job and what I plan on doing for the rest of my life. All you need to know is that I don't have a desk job and I am still nursing.
By 'I don't have a desk job' I mean that chances are I will find myself in some interesting situations and have to step away for fear of spraying everyone around me. Thankfully the laws protect us milk makers. I also usually work with a partner. All of those partners are male. Fortunately most of them are dads and have known me for long enough that they won't care. The ones without kids will be way more embarrassed than I am.
So, two days a week I will have to function and get dressed before 2pm. My social networking time will be impacted fo sho. I will have to be a little more together at least two days a week. I did work full-time when I went back to work after Cannon was born. I wanted to say that I tried. I did. It just wasn't for me. I was never 100% anywhere. I wasn't a good employee because I was worrying about stuff at home and I wasn't a good wife and mom because I was worried about work. Too much for me.
So I go back part time.
Emerson will go to school with her big brother who will no doubt begin his role as 'big brother' and check in on her regularly.
It's going to be easier than when I dropped Cannon off for the first time. In fact, Dan came with me that first time because he knew I would be a mess. I was. I was leaving my precious baby with a complete stranger. Plus there were other babies in there too! How on earth will he survive without someones undivided attention? Well he did. In fact, he thrives there. So much so that it's really really important to me that he spend at least two days a week there, with other kids, learning things, growing. Whether I am home or not. I know I will feel the same about BGB. Still, she's only 12 weeks old.
Europe understands motherhood. They do it better. I bet if American women got a year of maternity leave more of us would go back to work. Just saying.
So here are the pro's of going back:
Showering before lunch.
I will spend 16 hours a week doing something other than diapers, Mickey Mouse, and matchbox cars.
My brain needs the work.
I will make some money that will immediately be eaten up by the cost of super expensive fancy daycare. With perhaps a tad leftover for a bit of a car payment or dinner out. Priorities.
Two days away from toddler man poops.
Showering before lunch.
Putting on real clothes that in all likelihood will be snug.
Adult interaction. My kids agree with everything I say and even if they don't it doesn't matter. They can't fire me.
No more pj Mondays or Tuesdays. I vow to make up for it the rest of the week.
I've done the working mama thing. I've done the non-working mama thing. I think for now I'll settle for the part time working mama thing.
The Best part? Monday is my Monday and Tuesday is my Friday.