Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Not the flu

This post has taken me a while because it's hard to make pain and misery funny.  Or even entertaining.  I tried.

Just when it was going smoothly.  E was gaining weight, nursing was getting, dare I say it, easy. 

Nothing is ever easy.

Woke up about two weeks ago and thought I was on fire.  At least thought one boob was on fire.  So bad in fact that I went downstairs and in five minutes pumped five ounces.  Relief.  I thought.  It was just engorgement.  Spin again Vanna.

Went back upstairs, stopped in the bathroom for some water and almost passed out (an ideal location to pass out).  Started shaking.  Chills. Like uncontrollable chills.  Teeth chattering, shaking.  Fever.  Clearly a fever.  103 out of NO WHERE.  I survive the night and internet diagnose myself with mastitis.  Doc calls in a prescription in the morning, everyone says I'll be better in 24 hours.  Everyone being the friends who've been there.  Wrong.  My body doesn't react to the 'industry standard' antibiotics.  Two new antibiotics, an ultrasound and some serious help later and I was finally fever free and almost pain free.  It took a good five days.  Maybe six.  Six days of aching from head to toe, fighting fevers, and postponing feedings for fear that I might pass out if I have to latch her on there again.

I did a lot of reading and a lot of talking to people.  I searched for cures, homeopathic, chants, or otherwise.  Unless you've had it, you don't know. 

This might be TMI but I'll tell you because I know I'm not alone in this and I know that this can help.  It took Dan in the shower with me.  Working out the 'kinks'.  Tears.  Lots of tears.  So thankful for his help because I would venture to say not every husband would step up like that.  I know not every husband would ask his colleagues about it and get some great advice.

Here's the thing about mastitis.  Once you open your mouth about it, EVERYONE'S had it or knows someone who has.  The women who I told all instantly grabbed their chests with flashbacks.  Every man Dan talked to said 'oh yeah, been there, done that'.  And thank goodness they had. 

So, the good news is that I am no longer on fire.  My mastitis is gone.  Nursing is almost back to normal.  And E weighs more than 10 pounds now!  Whew. 

The Best part?  I beat it.  I didn't give in.  I didn't quit. 

Saturday, November 27, 2010

TGivs Observations and Revelations -- with pictures!

Eating on your great grandmother's china makes things more special.

My Mom on my 25 year old brother: "He's reading a book, I'm so proud." My brother is reading a book called Assholes Finish First.

My Brother on 'Dadly' duties: "Dad, you do the inside of the turkey it's like pumpkins."

Wine tastes better in crystal.  So it has to be handwashed.  We should still drink out of it more often.

Totally disappointed in the meat output of a 17 pound bird.  However, my brother may have eaten 3 or 4 pounds himself.

Jellied cranberry sauce out of  can is better than homemade.  Despite my best efforts.

There is sheer joy when the homemade pumpkin cheesecake with ginger snap crust comes out of the pan.

Family pictures, if too forced, with coordinated outfits, posing, and two children look just that way, forced.  Of course, I discovered THIS picture after I ordered the Christmas cards.  Damn.

My parents brought us a Keurig.  Never thought I wanted/ needed one.  Coffee pot for sale.

Hung with care.

Christmas cards in the mail by Monday.  That's late for me.  Really late.

Christmas cheer.

The Best part?  There was a peanut butter and jelly sandwich on our Thanksgiving table.

Friday, November 26, 2010

A Toast

We toasted.  Feel free to steal it.  My Mom stole it.  From the New York Times.  Where it was an ad.  For Grey Goose.  Vodka.

To nearest
To dearest
To the crew
To cahoots
To the ones who've been there
To the ones who'll be there
To dropping everything
To saying anything
To no judgements
To no doubts
To loyalty
To trust
To favors
To lifelongs
To been too long
To nothing's changed
To having history
To having your back
To moving away
To never too far
To growing up
To settling down
To your second family... to celebrating with those who matter most.

The Best part?  Stealing a toast from a vodka ad.

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

don't blink, you'll miss it!

That's how quick this will be.

I am finally healing.  Thanks to the husband and new meds.  Will tell full story later cuz I know your DYING to hear.

Cleaned (fine, cleaning lady came, same thing) and started cooking and we're ready!

Bring on Tgiv!  So much to be thankful for!

Oh, and the stockings are hung.  With joy.  Duh.

The Best part?  Feast!  Soon!


Little Turkeys

So thankful for these two who are clearly no longer twins.
Happy Cooking!

The Best part?  I'm getting better.  Finally.

Monday, November 22, 2010

quickie but goodie


Netbook is back.  Hooray!  They left it even though I just left a note for the Fedex guy asking him to leave it.  Hooray!

No abcesses.  That means no surgery.  New antibiotics (two of them) and pain meds and praying it goes away like an hour ago.

Real things people said to me today:

"Her looks like her's gonna go to sleep soon" on an elevator... guess how many teeth she had...

"Have you breastfed in the last six months?" nurse, at the doctors office looking at me and baby E and also fully equipped with the knowledge she was scheduling an ultrasound because of mastitis.  Is there another cause I'm unaware of?

"Look at all that hair! I remember when my grandbaby was born and the nurse was playing with her hair before she was delivered."  woman in line with me at the pharmacy. sick.

"She's beautiful, just like her momma, hope she don't look like her daddy!" Volunteer at the hospital.  A) I was Stacy and Clinton material today so he clearly didn't mean it and B) what does that mean?

Keep your fingers crossed for us.

The Best part?  No abcesses.  Whew.

Sunday, November 21, 2010

Where you been sista?

So I know everyone is pining for some Best part love.  Here it comes, in brief.

The laptop comes back tomorrow.  Now if I can figure out how to be home when they deliver it cause I have to sign for it (hate that). 

Mastitis lingers.  In fact, it has gotten worse.  I've been fighting a 103 degree fever since Thursday which makes me a terrific wife and mother.  You know when everything hurts?  Like from the tips of your fingers to your toes and everywhere in between.  It hurts to blink.  That's me.  Basically incapable of doing anything AND my only real responsibility (feeding baby E) hurts like a mother.  So today the doc gave me the option of coming to the hospital and spending the night on IV antibiotics OR taking percocet (along with the antibiotics I've been taking) and come into the office first thing tomorrow.  It's not that I didn't want to spend all day Sunday and into Monday in the hospital... ok, it is.  Thank God for percocet.

Today will be a day of homeopathic cures (along with drugs).  Nursing on my hands and knees.  Kneading (which brings tears to my eyes to just say it).  Heat.  Ice.  More nursing.  Perhaps some chanting and incense burning too.  I would not wish this on anyone.

One website poster suggested, brace yourselves, that you have your husband 'nurse' on you to suck out the clog.  Um.  No.  Would rather have a doctor have to cut it open and clear it out.  Serious.

It's tgivs week.  Woefully unprepared isn't the right terminology.  Behind.  I am behind.  So tonight I will sit on my behind and clean the crystal glasses we've used once since we got married.  Perhaps I'll also iron the table cloth.  Depends on how medicated I am.

On a different note, we got our list for our adopt a family and I'm totally excited to shop for this single mom and her son.  She specifically requested 'no guns' for her little boy which I love.  They asked for the most reasonable things.  I'm so looking forward to being able to make their holiday a little more special.

The Best part?  The pills.  Definitely the pills.

Friday, November 19, 2010

Mastitis Sucks

Thought you should know.

That is all.

Thursday, November 18, 2010

Happy National Thaw Day

I have my most profound thoughts in the middle of the night.  Then when the sun rises I can't even remember what time I was up let alone what my thoughts were.  I know of late I've been less than riveting but my groove will be back soon.  Why?  Cause my computer will be back soon!  Until then, a few thoughts.

I remembered to put the turkey in the fridge today.  Victory.

Emerson used to look just like me and Cannon and now she looks A LOT like Dan.  Pics soon I promise (ref. above computer issues).

I would have made a great queen but I suppose Kate Middleton will have to do.  She is lovely.  I'll be anxiously awaiting my invitation.

BGB's stocking is now embroidered.  Nothing is stopping me from decorating.  Look.  Out.

Let my obsession with hair bows begin.  Today, I shop.

Waited too long last year to get Christmas pj's... will not make the same mistake this year.  Today, I shop.

As we prepare to give thanks for all that we have and celebrate with too much food, wine, and cheer, we've decided to adopt a family for Christmas.  We think it will be a wonderful tradition for our children (and us) to grow up learning to help others and appreciating all that we have.  The Salvation Army supported my Grandmother and her family when they arrived on US soil from Poland so this holiday season, we'll join them in helping those less fortunate.  As I say often, we are luckier than we deserve.

We're buying each other a new furnace for Christmas.  Don't be jealous.

The Best part?  New traditions.

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

so thankful...

... for pink bubblegum flavored medicine.

That is all.


In an effort to earn back our POTY (Parents of the Year) awards we'll be switching from Augmentin, hopefully to something that looks and tastes like a sucker.  Ok, fine, at least tastes like one.

When you Google "Trying to get your two year old to take augmentin" the advice overwhelmingly says to ask the doctor for something else.  It's the devil and I'm not the only one who thinks so. 

So, lesson learned.  Now, onto ask for something clear and pink to kill whatever bug has gotten my little boy.

The Best part?  He still loves us.  Oh, and no fever since before bed last night.

Monday, November 15, 2010

FlavoRx Fail

A cough.  He's had a cough for the better part of a month.  It came with a nasty cold right about the time Emerson was born.  The green gunk went away.  The cough has lingered.  Then came a fever on Saturday.  A fever that kept coming back.  I was up with two children last night.  So, today, I call the doctor. 

See, we know his tubes are out.  So, my fear of 'earning back the tubes' crept in and I was worried about an ear infection.  To the doctor we go.  We all know how those visits usually go (precisely why I was SO thankful to have Dan with me).  This one was fairly smooth and if she could have diagnosed him without checking his ears or mouth they would have been BFF.  The second she put that thing in his ear he fell out of love with the doctor and started screaming.  He is surprisingly strong I might add.

Fortunately, his ears are fine.  His tonsils are however, swollen and have white dots on them.  Oh and he has a sinus infection. 

So she says, 'how's he with medicine?'. 

'Good!  Really good!' we exclaim enthusiastically (an exclamation that will soon bite us in the ass).  So enthusiastically in fact she thought we were kidding.  We weren't.  The kid asks for medicine.  The pink kind.  So much so that sometimes we give him water and tell him it's medicine.  Creating an addict?  Perhaps. 

Anyway.  Augmentin.  She wants to put him on Augmentin.  Ok, fine. Sounds good.  Will it keep us from having to get a chest xray and make him better?  It will?  Ok, sounds good!

Augmentin is basically like liquidy cottage cheese.  So she says 'get the FlavoRx shot of flavor in it, it'll make it go down smoother.'  Liar.

It gets ugly here.  We bribe with M&M's.  Fail.  We bribe with ice cream.  Also fail.  I would judge people who did what we attempted, until tonight.  So, we attempted to hold down our freakishly strong two year old and force the medicine (which we had mixed with the pink stuff in hopes of disguising it) down.  Fail.  Medicine on his shirt, his face, Dan's shirt, Dan's face.  Everywhere but in his mouth, down his throat, and healing his body.  Eff.  Now we feel like terrible people and he didn't even get the meds.

Attempt 3.  Mix it with milk.  Put the milk in a big boy cup.  Semi success until he got to the bottom.  "I don't want it! It's yucky".  Eff.

Add chocolate to it.  Again.  "I don't want it."  Super.  We give up, hoping we've somehow forced enough down his throat to make a difference until tomorrow morning.

So, I don't want to mix it with milk cause he's a good milk drinker.  Who wants to ruin that?  I'm going to try yogurt in the morning and if that fails the doc's got to come up with something else.  Food coloring?  wonder if that'll work.  I'm not going to torture my sick 2 year old and scar him for life.  Or at least scare him enough to not ever take medicine willingly again.

So who's got solutions?  Suggestions?  Criticism?  Keep in mind, if you're mean, I'll write a post about you and I haven't actually slept in 3 weeks so my tongue is quick and sharp. :)

The Best part?  He got some.  I think.  Oh, and he's sick, so I don't feel nearly as guilty about a day filled with television (educational of course) after a night void of sleep.

Observations and Revalations Part C

She slept five hours over the weekend.  Might have been the wine.  Or perhaps she likes sushi.  Either way, don't care.  Five hours.

I sat and laughed with my husband at dinner without getting a hotdog, having to put on Handy Manny, or nurse someone at the table.  It. Was. Magical.

I drank too much wine.  Kinda proud.

Medical tape remnants remain on my leg.  Really.

I know exactly what day it is.  Have zero concept of what the date is.

I have no idea who will help me remember to take the turket out on Thursday.  Taking volunteers.

Fighting the urge to decorate for Christmas is easy when you're not sleeping and just trying to keep up.

I will get my hair done before Thanksgiving.

Breast milk poop is gross.  Toddler man poops are grosser. 

In preparing for my first ever Thanksgiving dinner hosting I am woefully unsupplied and may have my mom bring most of her kitchen from the Lou.

We gave her a bottle.  Actually the sitter gave her a bottle.  Miraculously, she survived.  A. Mazing.

Toddler fevers only show up in the middle of the night and they only show up when you're NOT already up with the baby.

Pretty good chance I won't get out of my pj's today.  Unless we have to go to the doctor.  In which case I still might not put on real clothes.

Laundry does not disappear, not matter how many times you wish for it to. 

The Best part?  Date night.

Tuesday, November 9, 2010


I have to be inspired to blog.  I know when it hits me and I start composing in my head.  It never takes long when I have the inspiration and what comes out is almost always a masterpiece.  If it's not, it ends up in the draft pile.  For the next 7 to 10 days inspiration will have to hit me over the head like a brick cause I'll have to walk up 13 stairs to blog. 

Reluctantly I am sending my trusty netbook to Texas today.  That's right, someone in India with 700 consonants in their name and only 2 vowels told me to send it there.  They also tried to convince me that the fact that the screen goes white when you move it around is a 'system' problem.  Really?  That doesn't seem like a short to you?  I mean I'm no expert... but.

So, today I mail her away.  There will be less emailing, less facebooking, and less blogging.  But it is only temporary.  You will be ok.  I will be ok.  And hopefully my netbook (which I was assured was going to be returned from Nowhere, Texas) will be better for it.  I hope.

Until then... or until I walk up 13 stairs to use the desktop.  I bid  you adieu.

The Best part?  I decided to do something about the screen problem two days before the warranty expired.

Friday, November 5, 2010

Like a Virgin

It's adventure day.  Read: it's 'I feel so guilty that I don't give my 2 year old enough attention that we're making a big deal out of the aquarium and lunch out' day.  See, I'm pretty sure C will never forgive me.  I'm also pretty sure he'll never remember life before E was born.  That's how irrational my mommy guilt is.  Anyway.  It's my first day home with both of them without Dan and we went on an adventure.

Fish.  Sharks.  Sharkrays.  Stingrays.  A sleeping baby all the way through.  Perfection.

On to lunch.

C is super excited to sit in a booster seat these days so I'll take it.  We sit down.  We order lunch.  He is being an angel.  And I no longer have a sleeping baby.  Oh and she's hungry.  Her little not even 8 pound body hasn't eaten in 2 hours and she's hungry. 


Thinking this might happen, I asked to be seated in the back of the restaurant.  Also, it was 11:15.  We were the first people in there for lunch.  I planned it this way.  I'm a planner.  Duh. (See, I considered waking her up in the aquarium to feed her. It's dark in there and busy. No one would likely notice. Problem was I had visions of chasing Cannon around the penguins, trying to keep his hands out of the shark tank with one boob out. That vision was enough to wait.)  So if E had to eat we'd be alone and I had a cover I'm borrowing from a friend and I could do it. 

Or could I?

Enter a field trip.  Of middle schoolers.  Not kidding.  Couldn't be a bunch of kindergartners and their moms who would for sure smile at me reassuringly as I nursed the baby at the lunch table.  Nope.  A field trip of middle schoolers.  Phe. Nomenal.

Then.  I remembered this.  Hey, guess where we were having lunch?  That's right.  Johnny Rockets.  Hey.  Guess which Johnny Rockets we were having lunch in? That's right.  The one where the manager kicked the mama out.  Cue sweat glands.  Would they think I was staging some sort of 'sit in'?  Making a statement?  I wasn't.  I'm not interested in making statements.  I'm not in this to take a stand.  I just want to need to feed the baby.

So, I have a screaming two week old.  A two year old quietly enjoying his lunch.  And I'm in a restaurant where mere months ago a mom was lectured and given the boot for nursing on the patio.  I was inside.  Surely that's even worse.  Eff. 

I have to feed her.  I have to feed her.  I try soothing her other ways.  Does. Not. Work.  Screaming 2 week old.  Not good for a nursing mama.  Or anyone else for that matter.  Fumble fumble.  Get cover on.  Fumble fumble.  Cannon tells me I'm playing hide 'n seek with Emerson.  Fumble fumble... and LATCH!   Hoo. Ray.  Five minutes I feed her.  That has to be enough to hold her until we get to the car or better yet, home.  It is.  We are subsequently ignored for the rest of the meal by our server (who until now had been making ketchup faces in bowls and talking to Cannon about fish).  He brings the check.  Just to spite him I order a kiddie milkshake (that and cause I wanted one).  To go. 

So.  I did it.  I fed the baby.  In public.  Barely.  But it's a start I guess.  Maybe it will get easier?  Got any tips?  How bout confidence boosters?

The Best part?  I didn't flash any middle schoolers.  I don't think.

Thursday, November 4, 2010

Buttoned Up

So it's been like 8 months since I've worn pants that button.  Like with real buttons. 

At 10:30 tonight E will be 2 weeks old.  Today I buttoned my 'big girl jeans' or BGJ. 

Some background.

I bought my BGJ when Cannon was 6 months old or so.  I was tired of my designer jeans not buttoning or coming close to buttoning along with the rest of my pants.  So I bought BGJ.  6 months.  I wore them until his first birthday when my real pants fit again. 

Today my BGJ buttoned.  That my friends is a victory.  A victory I didn't work for.  I will take it.

The Best part?  2 weeks.

Little. Yellow. Different.

She's little.  She's slightly yellow.  But she's not different.  E has breastmilk jaundice.  Her liver is working just fine.  She's gained 6oz since Monday.  We.  Will.  Take.  It.

Currently planning a Mommy and Cannon adventure day for tomorrow.  Pretty sure it involves sharks and milkshakes.

The Best part?  6oz. :)

Wednesday, November 3, 2010

Observations and Revalations Week Dos

I made dinner tonight.  Victory.

You can in fact eat pizza three nights in a row for dinner and still lose weight.  A. Mazing.

Indian style (or whatever the PC term is for sitting with your legs crossed is) is a bad idea.  I think it will be for a while.

So is scooting around the floor on your butt trying to capture a picture of your two children who have yet to be pictured together because your 2 year old isn't so sure just yet is a bad idea.  And it's even worse when you have the wrong lens on so you are way too close to capture anything.

We are about 24 hours from the 2 week mark and I still have medical tape remnants on my hands from the IV.  Judge away.  I have showered at least every other day.

There is no guilt more gripping or irrational than mommy guilt.  This will be an entire chapter in my book someday.  C said to me this afternoon 'My want to doe on venture with you Mommy'.  Translation: I want to go on an adventure with you Mommy.  He had just gotten back from an adventure with Daddy.  Heart.  Broken.  We are going on an adventure on Friday.  Every time E eats he wants to eat.  Every time I pick her up he wants to be picked up.  It's hard.  Really.  Effing.  Hard. 

You can in fact watch Toy Story too many times.  To infinity and... shoot me.  The first one is better than the second for the record.

Even a good latch will make your toes curl for at least a few seconds.

I have irrational anxiety about daylight saving (little known fact: it is NOT daylight savingS time) time and a toddler's sleep schedule.  It's only awesome to 'fall back' if you get an extra hour before last call and get to sleep in even later.

The infamous squirt bottle is now a toy. 

The Best part?  Weigh in tomorrow for E.  Hoping to be back to birth weight... or like 10 pounds.

Monday, November 1, 2010

Latch This

Is it wrong to call your 11 day old names?  First let me tell you why.

After three days of extreme frustration, countless meltdowns, little to no sleep, nipple shields, shells and pain, we went to the lactation consultant (LC) this afternoon.  Baby E made me look like a cracked out moron the way she jumped on and chowed down.  No pain.  Perfect latch.  Ate for 20 minutes.  No pulling off, no stopping, no falling asleep.  None of it.  Are you freaking kidding me?  I was an emotional disaster for days over this.  And we go get help and she doesn't need it? 

Now can I call her names?  :)

Actually I am SO glad we went.  These women at the hospital are phenomenal.  She answered just about every question I had and made me feel SO much better.  She had me nurse her without any clothes on and had me squeeze up high (sorry if that's TMI but if you're a regular reader you're over that by now).  It was amazing.  It was perfect.  It was the way it's supposed to be.  Now, the true test will be in an hour.  When it's time to do it again.  Latch This.

Now, let me just say thank you.  I started this blog as a way to tell stories and share anecdotes.  Who knew it would be a way to get support and make virtual friends.  Granted, most of my regulars are pre-blog besties but I love that some of you aren't. 

On another note, I think I'm onto something.  There is a market for things moms don't talk about.  I'm not easily embarassed and really don't have a problem talking about much with just about anyone.  But how come before I had kids no one said 'breast feeding sucks'... 'it's really freaking hard'... 'you'll be constipated for days after birth'... 'you don't know bleeding until you've had a baby'... 'let me tell you about the squirt bottle, witch hazel and the biggest pads you've ever seen'...the list goes on.  I read Girlfriend's Guide and Belly Laughs and either skipped those parts or they weren't there.  I'm just saying I think I'm onto something.


The Best part?  She latched!!!