Monday, October 4, 2010

If A... then B... if C... then D....

If you didn't already know this about me, I'm a planner.  Not an 'early Christmas shopper' kind of planner.  An organized, need to know what we're doing and when generally way before the time comes.  For instance.  When I got pregnant with BGB I invited my family here for Thanksgiving, knowing we'd be in no condition to travel with a newborn.  That was in March.  I'm a planner.  I make lists.  I am organized.  I still have a paper planner instead of using the one in my phone.  I'm old school.  My mom makes fun of me for it.  I got it from her.  And she knows it.

I'm not stressed.  Not about much of anything when it comes to BGB.  I'm less than concerned about another baby in the house.  We have a space in our lives carved out for her and she will fit just perfectly.  I'm not worried about dividing my attention.  I'm not worried about Cannon's adjustment period.  There will be a few tantrums and some confusion but we'll figure it out.  I'm not stressed about whether the epidural will work or not.  I'm not worried about labor.  But there is one thing.

My little boy.  The last thing I want is for him to be weirded out, scared, or just off kilter when we have to go to the hospital.  I know things will be different with two kids but with Dan and I not around, I don't want him to be upset with no one to comfort him.  So, if I am worrying about one thing, it's the 'plan'.

When you live 5+ hours from your family, your friends are your family.  We have terrific 'family' here, closeby and they're all part of the contingency plan.  We have great neighbors and babysitters who are in on it too.  Not to mention a fabulous 'school' where he's comfortable and happy where we can leave him knowing he'll be fine. 

But.  What if.

What if my water breaks in the middle of the night?  Or while I'm at work?  Or at bedtime?  Those are the scenarios I'm worried about.  It's 6 hours for my parents to get here.  So we started planning for those cases last night and it's probably why I slept terribly.  That and the fact that I'm 37 weeks and doesn't everyone sleep terribly from this point on?  I know we can wake him in the middle of the night and take a very tired, very confused, very sad toddler to be with friends in the dark of night but I'd like to avoid it. 

With Cannon we knew it was coming.  I labored at home for hours.  Please, please, please.  Let it be the same. (I guess I could always bring the backyard pool in and do what those ladies on A Baby Story do... give birth with my toddler in my arms (if you know me you just laughed out loud).)  That's the best case.  This week, we'll be making lists and planning for all cases.

Worst case, I use those kegels and 'hold it in?' :)

Please God don't let me be one of those women who gives birth in their car.  They always end up on the news (and I would know).

The Best part?  I do love the planning.


Lauren Stahl said...

Somehow it all works out in the end! You are so close and Cannon will be fine. This what I keep telling myself about the girls. I am not concerned about anything after I deliver either it is just that their daily lives not be disrupted in the mean time! I think I might have a little edge because the girls are older and would understand if I told them what was happening in the middle of the night or any time for that matter, but he will be okay. Just have BGB have a little something for him at the hospital when he first comes to visit. I will be thinking about you and can't wait to see pictures. Knowing you are almost done makes my delivery closer :-)

BJ Mcconnell said...

Not to worry about Cannon.. He is amazingly resiient, well adjusted and happy.. any disruption will feel like an adventure to him..
Besides, he gets to have his Bubbles and Doobie all to himself and we will spoil him bonkers..
And, as your role-model Type A Prototype Planner Diva, you should know that my bag has been packed since AUGUST.. Love, mom

Anne and Mike Field said...

You're probably the only person I've ever heard wish for labor to last a long time! I'm sure Cannon will be great. I bet he'll love being a big brother (at least eventually), and will be so excited when you guys come home from the hospital that even if he has to wake up in the middle of the night, he'll just think it was a dream. Kids are tough!