I'm not a nervous person. Public speaking, no big deal. Spiders, whatever. Air travel, fine.
It's here. The anxiety is here. Not like palms sweating all consuming anxiety, just a feeling in my ever growing belly. It's coming. Something is coming. It's not constant and mostly shows up after Cannon's asleep and we're just watching tv and it goes away when I lay down to go to sleep. I had the same feeling with Cannon. My mind and body know something is coming and it's coming soon.
I don't often admit weakness and have no plans of doing that here. I've said it before, I'm not nervous about having another baby or welcoming another miracle into the world. We're ready for BGB. In fact, we're excited to meet her and can't wait for her to be here. But. Is there anxiety surrounding labor? Yep. There is. Do I kind of remember how awful it was the last time? Yep. I do. And while I know that I can do it again and that the 'prize' at the end is worth every second, it's still scary. Couple that with the 'not knowing' when and I've got butterflies.
The other night, we had Chinese. I don't like fortune cookies. If I'm going to eat a cookie it should probably have chocolate in it. Anyway. This was the fortune in the cookie I opened to give to Cannon (who also thought it didn't cut it as a 'cookie').
The typo actually makes it funnier. I don't think a more appropriate fortune exists. I believe in signs and that is a sign. Did it take the anxiety away? No. Did it bring a smile to our faces? Yes.
So until BGB gets here, I'll be here. Gaining weight, chasing a 2 year old, and fighting off the butterflies.
The Best part? Maybe it's not anxiety, maybe it's the Chinese food or the Chipotle burrito and ice cream I had last night... hmm.