Saturday, September 4, 2010


If you're unfamiliar.  Gym.  Tan.  Laundry.  It's one of several mantras you'll hear if you sit down and take in all the glory that is Jersey Shore on MTV on any given Thursday. 

Some quick background.  This is a reality show about 7 twenty somethings picked to live in a house and have their lives taped (this is far from the original Real Worlds with Puck, Pedro, and company).  It's the Real World for 7 guidos (I have no idea if that's a derogatory term but it's gotta be better than 'juice heads').  And it is nothing short of phenomenal television.  The first season was taped on the actual Jersey Shore where they're right at home, this season they're in Miami. 

They all have nicknames.  Snooki (known for her trademark 'poof'), JWow (whose implants rival those of Pamela Anderson), and my personal favorite, "The Situation".  This guy's name is actually Mike but he goes by "The Situation".  When he orders a pizza, that's the name he gives them.  And this guy is a genius.  More on that in a bit.

They go out 'creepin''.  They have the 'shirt before the shirt' (the wifebeater they sit around in before they put on their Ed Hardy duds to go out fist bumpin' for the night).  The guys refer to unattractive girls as 'hippos' or 'grenades'.  The amount of hair gel they go through puts any college frat guy to shame.  The girls are loud, obnoxious, slutty, stupid, and again, phenomenal television.  These guidos do work this season, in a gelato shop, appropriately enough.

So, what's the appeal?  Well it's several fold.  First and foremost, it's hilarious.  It's fascinating that these people exist in the real world and function and breathe the same air we do.  Second, it's absolutely 'no mind' television.  For an hour once a week you can enjoy a train wreck.  Third, and the reason for my post, they are geniuses.

"The Situation" will make FIVE MILLION DOLLARS this year.  Yes, a lot of you will read that and say 'that's what's wrong with our society'.  And you're right.  However, that's the world we live in.  So, if you can't beat 'em... can you blame the guy for taking full advantage?  Sure, he's probably blowing his money on Ed Hardy hats, hair gel, and True Republics.  Who cares?  These people have figured out how to make millions of dollars being themselves.  They are self marketing geniuses.  If I had half the self marketing skills they have I would have more that 27 (wonderful, thoughtful, caring, hopefully entertained) followers on my blog.  

Surely there are more moms out there than guidos.  Maybe I should pitch my 'Oprah idea' to MTV.  Until they come calling, I'll be brainstorming how to make a living writing humorous tales about our boring life. 

The Best part?  You will turn off the television feeling much better about yourself.  Unless you delve into the money they're making to act like assholes.

1 comment:

McCulloch Family said...

I'm catching up on your blog and cracking my shit up!!! I didn't watch the first season of Jersey Shore b/c I didn't want to add one more reality show to my already long list of mind-sucking ones I DVR each week. But this summer I was roped into watching the entire 1st season on a tv marathon with my high school girls. I. Was. Hooked. And am watching every week this season in anticipation of more fights, hook-ups and grenades. Love. It.
Thanks for making me laugh!!