Sunday, August 29, 2010

Bottoms Up

It's gotta be a phase.  Please God I hope it's a phase.  It's a phase right?

Of late Cannon has decided he doesn't want to wear pants.  He is constantly pulling off his shorts.  It has now evolved into pulling off his shorts AND his diaper.  Today that turned into pulling off his shorts, running away, coming back into the kitchen laughing naked and peeing on the dog.  Yes, ON THE DOG. 

Because the dog hasn't had enough trauma in recent weeks.

I know this is probably the beginning of the signs that's he's aware of when he has to go to the bathroom and isn't quite sure what to do about it.  To be clear, I have zero intentions of potty training before BGB comes.  Yes, I'd rather change a toddlers diapers than work on potty training.  For one, I don't have the patience and for two, I can't drink.  Judge me.  I just think potty training is a time when I might need a drink at the end of (or in the middle of) a long day. 

So, how long will the phase last?  Here's hoping not long. 

I'm not above using duct tape to keep the damn diaper on.

The Best part?  He thinks it's hilarious.

I got nothin'...

I fully expected to return today with horror stories (and foder for a fabulous blog post) about traveling without Dan, 32 weeks pregnant, with an almost 2 year old.  Yes, Delta, he's not 2 yet, I can prove it.  Tales of temper tantrums, getting kicked in the belly countless times, and unhappy co-passengers. 

I've got nothin'. 

Each flight we had our own row of seats (no idea what I did to deserve that but when the gate agents in Cincinnati saw me coming and said 'do you want the bulkhead first row? it's empty' I could have cried).  Cannon watched Elmo and ate snacks.  That's about as eventful as it got!  Hooray.

We had a great few days with my parents at the lake.  Cannon is obsessed with them and had a blast riding in the golf cart, feeding the fish, we even got him in a life jacket for a few minutes!  Fastest boat ride ever.  But he put on the life jacket which is a victory.

We even got to hang with Uncle Ross!

My Mom and I hit the outlets and upon our return found my Dad leaning over Cannon who was laying on a towel on the floor of the garage preparing himself to change a massive diaper.  He was concerned about it getting all over the house so the garage was the next best option.  They both looked like deer in the headlights.  Pretty sure us pulling in saved the day.

It was a terrific trip!  It's also the last time I'll travel (esp. without Dan) before BGB arrives.

I came home to freshly laquered hardwood floors, a painted nursery, and countless other wonderful things done around the house.  Could never ask for more.

The Best part?  That popsicle!  Oh and a pink nursery :) Post to follow.

Wednesday, August 25, 2010

Men know better...

Disclaimer: I am not writing this post fishing for compliments.  I know my friends/ readers/ even most strangers think my belly is just perfect.  I am writing it because I want you to know how stupid people are.  I post pictures on facebook fishing for compliments :)  Also, this one required a bit of profanity... reader discretion is advised.

Conversation #1:
The scene is my place of employment.  The conversation is between me and someone else who was at my place of employment (that's as far as I'll go).
Other person: How much longer do you have?
Me: (at the time) 10 weeks.
Other person: Really?  I just can't believe how much bigger you are this time than last time.
Me: Really... actually I've gained less than half of the weight I had gained with Cannon at this point.
Other person: Wow... really?  I just can't believe how much bigger you look.
And scene.

Conversation #2:
Same location.  Same people involved.
Other person: Maybe instead of resting ice cream on your belly at night you could work on shooting your own video by putting a camera there.
Me: (silence)
And scene.

Conversation #3:
Kings Island Amusement park parking lot.  Just before 6pm.
A woman pulls up next to our live truck in her beat up Honda, proceeds to nurse a child way older than any child I would ever nurse and then get out of her car... (she judged me first.. FYI)
Her: Looks like you don't have long to go!
Me: About 8 weeks left.
Her: No way!  Really?  I would have never guessed, you look ready to go!
Me: Nope.
And scene.

I don't even really know where to start. 

With Cannon I was pregnant from my forehead to my little toe and everywhere in between.  Puffy face, kankles, the whole nine yards.  BGB is being much kinder to my body.  I do have a rather large belly, however, let me be very clear.  In case you didn't know there's a HUMAN BEING in there.  A REAL LIVE PERSON.  She weighs at least 3 pounds right now, so, I have a pregnant belly.  It's not a beer belly, it's not a gut, I am OBVIOUSLY pregnant. 

However, that is not a license for strangers and others alike to verbally vomit all over me with rude opinions they should keep to themselves.

Men know better. 

No man would ever even consider telling me anything but 'wow! you look terrific! love that baby belly on you!'.  So why is it that having a uterus gives you permission to be an asshole?  If you have never been pregnant you should NEVER say a word about the size of another pregnant woman because that will come back and bite you in your stretch mark covered ass.  If you have been pregnant before then you should know better. 

Aside from Heidi Klum I know no one (yes, Heidi and I are personal friends)  who feels sexy or even pretty while pregnant.  No one.  So, don't make it worse.  I guarantee you pregnant women already know what they look like (despite best efforts to not look in the mirror after the shower).  So, if you don't have anything nice to say... shut the eff up.

And to clarify.  I am NOT eating ice cream this time, I'm eating pop ice instead. 

The Best part?  I walked 3.2 miles today. 

Sunday, August 22, 2010

Real Men Wear Pink

I have some really great friends.  Scratch that.  I have a lot of really great friends.  Problem is, my local friends have no 'y' chromosomes.  Girls.  Girls.  Everywhere. 

While a few years down the road, this will make Cannon, as the younger man, the pimp; right now, rather than fighting it, he plays along.  And, I will admit, enjoys it. 

This is what happens when your two year old boy is surrounded by two three year old girls, a one year old girl, and a three month old, you guessed it, girl.

I suppose it didn't help that I happened to have him in a pink shirt.  Real men wear pink.  My husband and son both wear pink.

The Best part?  If my son has to carry a purse... at least he chose Burberry.  BGB will be in great company.

Friday, August 20, 2010

Victories. Small ones.

I ate no cookies today.  What?  What's that you ask?  What did I do with the extra cookies I bought at Panera for our playdate?  They're in the freezer.  Did not take one single bite.  I did have pop ice.  Fewer calories and no fat.  Victory.

I can still wear my rings.  With ease.  Victory.

I can wear shoes other than flip flops (although I have no desire).  Victory.

I did all the laundry today.  Victory.

Cannon napped for 2 whole hours.  Victory.

I took a shower.  Did not wash my hair.  Still a victory.

The weekend is here.  Victory.

The Best part?  Sitting here watching the little girl in my belly do somersaults.

Today I will not eat crap.

Hold me accountable. 

I was doing great on the pregnancy weight gain, and am still way behind where I was with Cannon but with 19 pounds and 9 weeks to go and a desire to stay below 30 gained, today I will not eat like shit.  I won't eat any of Cannon's cookies.  I will eat healthy foods.  I will snack on healthy things.  One day at a time.  Pop ice will be my reward at the end of the day. 

I bought the Shark.  Thought youd' be as excited as I am.

The Best part?  Finding excitement in a floor steamer.

Sunday, August 15, 2010

The Final 10

Welp, there it is.  30 weeks.  Ok, fine.  29 1/2 weeks.  Here's the thing, I was 29 weeks on Thursday and as soon as that first day of week 30 starts, I consider myself 30 weeks.  It makes me feel better. 


My belly is now getting to the 'uncomfortably' big size.  It's in the way.  It's starting to get heavy.  BGB (Baby Girl Best) is sitting way lower than Cannon really ever did.  I know she looks high but this is low for me (super short torso, due to the aforementioned scoliosis).  So I get kicked in the bladder and hip bones far more often than I'd like cause those aren't the 'oh that's the sweet little baby kicking' kicks.  They're the 'how bout you stop dancing on my bladder kicks'.  They come with a really nice wincing face that makes talking to your boss uncomfortable, especially when you're forced to grab your belly in hopes of making it stop.


I have sciatica this time.  It's not crippling but it's noticable.  Constantly.  When I sit on the floor with Cannon to play I get pains down my legs.  When I stand up my back throbs.  It's part of it.  Funny that I've gained probably half of what I had gained at this point with Cannon and I'm having more pain than I did with him.  I know, I know, 'every pregnancy's different'.  I am still sleeping for the most part, except when one side falls asleep and I have to roll over which is a bed shaking, husband waking event.  And if I'm awake to roll over I might as well go pee. 


So, 10 weeks to go.  Don't get the wrong idea.  I want her to wait until she's good and cooked and ready.  I just want the last 10 weeks to fly by.

Bring it.  I'm not even worried about labor.  Epidural or no.  I'm in.  I'm ready.

The Best part?  It's mid August and no one has made the 'are you sure there aren't twins in there?' joke.

he did it :)

He's basically in college. 

We made the much anticpated switch to the big boy room and bed last night.  He did get out after Dan left him but after a minute or two and realizing Dan wasn't coming back in, he got back in bed and slept, all night! 

Almost time for the first nap in there... we shall see.

The Best part?  Time to paint some pink!

Thursday, August 12, 2010

Scoliosis, Schmoliosis

This will probably bore most of you but there has been a terrific development in medicine that directly affects Cannon and Baby Girl and any other children we may have. 

I have scoliosis (click link to read what I wrote about it when I was 14).  Adolescent, idiopathic, genetic, scoliosis.  My Dad has it, my Grandma has it and chances are good that Cannon will have it.  My brother doesn't have it because in our family it's passed mother-son and father-daughter (and because he couldn't handle it :)). 

Normally, scoliosis isn't a big deal for kids.  Usually it's minor curvature that has no affect in life.  In our case it's anything but.  When I was 14 I had an anterior/posterior spinal fusion to correct it.  I have three rods and five screws in my back and I'm missing a rib and six disks (this is the reason I didn't have an epidural when Cannon was born). 

This is actually my back.
Prior to my surgery I wore a brace for two years.  It's ancient history now but when I had to wear it, it sucked.  And it didn't help.

Well, for the last few years we've been participating in a study to identify some genetic markers for scoliosis and this week the New York Times published an article with terrific news.  Basically they've identified a genetic marker that will allow doctors to do a simple saliva test to determine if scoliosis will get bad.  So, instead of Cannon having to wear a brace for two years and then having surgery (which by the way isn't even a fusion anymore) they will be able to swab his cheek and tell how bad his scoliosis will get.  From there we'll be able to determine a treatment plan. 

I don't want you to think I am assuming he'll have it but chances are pretty good that he will since I have it so severely.  However, my aunt's three boys don't have it and she likely has the genetic markers for it.  So, who knows.

I'm far from afraid of him having it.  Scoliosis is part of who I am, my scars build character and if scoliosis is the worst thing we have to deal with, we'll consider ourselves lucky.  Very lucky.

Great news.

The Best part?  Progress.

Wednesday, August 11, 2010

It's Hot in Tampa

That's one of the things I remember most.  Fat kid story coming.  Neapolitan ice cream.  In a coffee mug.  At Grandma's.  If you ask me what comes to mind when I think of my Grandparents house (on my dad's side), one of the first is neapolitan ice cream. 

That's a picture taken inside my Grandmother's freezer. 

We made memories last weekend.  It was well worth traveling with a two year old to see my Grandma sitting on the floor playing cars with Cannon.  And hearing Cannon yell 'Hi Umpah!' when we walked in the door. 

I have wonderful memories of my Grandparents from when I was growing up and while I know that Cannon probably won't remember being in Tampa last weekend, I will.  We took lots of pictures to help too. 

We'll go back in the spring (a better time to travel to the surface of the sun) so that Baby Girl can see GG and Umpah's house too!

The Best part?  Neapolitan Ice Cream.

Monday, August 9, 2010

We don't live in the woods.

So, after we bought a house, we decided to get a dog.  (If we could keep the dog alive we could consider kids).  Let me tell you a little about Tucker.  Tuck was an adorable puppy and is a 'regal' dog, as described by others.  He looks dapper and royal. 

Tuck is a good dog.  He's a really good dog.  He hangs out, doesn't ask much of you and has never ever missed a piece of food within his reach.  He barks when he wants to be protective.  He gets excited when someone new comes in, for like 30 seconds.  He is especially 'sweet' to people who don't like dogs. 

Tucker has never met a foe, a stranger, or an enemy.  To that point, I really think he's lacking any amount of 'natural instincts' a golden retriever comes with.  It's concerning.

First, there was the skunk episode. 

Then, Thursday night at 10:30, against my better judgement (curfew is still in place) I let him out.  Within a minute or two, he's barking.  Not usually a big deal but since it was late I checked it out. 

Eyes.  I saw eyes.  Not Tucker's eyes.  Beady little red eyes.  Inches from Tucker.  So here's the scene.  Tucker, 85 pound Tucker, standing with his tail wagging, tongue out.  Next to Tucker is a rodent.  A nasty rodent that I immediately feared was the effing skunk. 

If Tucker could talk he would have said "Mom! Come meet my new friend!" 

His new friend was a POSSUM or opossum or whatever the hell they're called.  Like skunks, I have no idea what their value is in the world or on the food chain.  The possum is standing, frozen, inches from Tuck with it's mouth open, bearing ALL of it's gross teeth, hissing.

And our dog thinks he wants to play.  Seriously Tucker?  Do you have no 'gut instincts' nothing that makes you say 'wait, this animal has it's teeth out and is hissing... perhaps I shouldn't act friendly.. maybe I should bark... or show MY teeth... or at least back up a little bit.' 

Guess not.

Fortunately, we finally, after much coaxing, got him to come to us and scared the possum back up into the tree or down into the hole or wherever those things live.  Pretty sure we're going to have to call someone to address our 'critter/ rodent' problem.

The Best part?  Ignorance is bliss.

need a 'do over'

I need to go back to bed and start today over.

I buckle Cannon into his carseat and decide before I get in the car to pick up some dog food I spilled on the floor of the garage.  Given our recent luck with rodents (please add possum to the list, post to follow) I figured that should be a priority.  While picking up said dog food, my nose starts to bleed.  Awesome.  I run in the house, grab a paper towel.  Decide to abandon the dog food picking up.  We sit in the car for a minute until the nose bleed stops.  Crisis averted.  I thought.

All the way to school I talk to Cannon about how fun it will be to tell his friends how great his weekend was (another post to follow) and how he was on an airplane and went to Florida.  Plus it's pajama day so you can't beat that, right?

I pull into school and realize I don't have any DAMN SHOES ON! 

Are you kidding me?  Who forgets to put shoes on?  How does this happen? 

11 more weeks until my brain returns.

The Best part? We do live in Kentucky... probably wasn't as big of a deal for everyone else as it was for me.... fail.

Thursday, August 5, 2010

a room with a view...

So... what's that? (other than a stolen blog idea?) That's the view from the top.
Feet. Gone.
From this point on I take no responsibility for my clothing below my belly button or for the condition of polish on my toes.
The Best part? Out of sight, out of mind.

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almost a wash...

I don't know how anyone makes the decision to stay home.  I know some who found it easy and others who struggled.  I know I was not made to work fulltime and be a mom.  I'm lucky, I don't have to.  But I do work part time and while I'm not raking in the dough, it's nice to have some extra money. 

Here's the thing.

While I'm at work, Cannon is at 'school'.  A 'school' we value tremendously and a school where I want him to stay.  So he will stay there even while I'm on leave.  It's not cheap.  Quality things never are.  It's worth every dollar.  But it's a lot of dollars.  But I maintain that the experience has no dollar amount.

So, today, we talked numbers.  Numbers of having two kids there part time.  I plan on taking every single second of 12 weeks of leave.  Once that's over, I plan on going back to my part time schedule (as long as they'll have me).  However, doing some quick math (not my strong suit) I realized that 81% of what I am making goes right to 'school'.  That's a lot. 

Another baby is a budget adjustment.  I suck at budgets.  Totally suck.  I can't make them, stick to them, or come in under one.  There is always something.  For instance, I can easily justify buying a swingset right now, while they're on sale, to put up in the spring.  It's not in the budget but if I was a betting person, I'd bet we'll buy one soon. 

So, ladies, spill it.  What's your budget?  How do you stick to it?  How do you resist the urges?  I mean I think I'm frugal.  Not superwoman frugal but frugal.  For instance, my latest victory... I've been resisting the urge to buy a Shark, a $60 Shark for my hardwood floors to make sure it's something I really want.  I still want it, three months later.  So, I suppose I should budget for it, right?  Ugh.

The Best part?  Trying to plan... oh and swingsets.

Sunday, August 1, 2010

no need for words...

The Best part? A father son moment. Touching. Pun intended.
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