Thursday, December 10, 2009

Ignorance Must Be Bliss

You'll need some background for this read.

My good friend is still grieving from her loss.  She has good days and bad as I imagine she will for a long time to come.  She is surrounded by the love of family and friends.  They will survive this loss.  She's communicating with me as she can, sometimes we joke, sometimes it's a somber message, yesterday her email blew my mind.

She got an email from a former colleague of ours.  Among the lines in the email were these:

"I'm sure you have heard a ton of things right now to get you thru this insane retarded thing."

"As young as you are you will be ok and have a family someday."

And finally...

"I just wanted to say if you wanted to anytime I can come over and you can hold my baby and spend time with him.  He's really sweet."

Ignorance must be bliss.

I try to strive for balance in my life.  I try to be kind to people and I work hard to be a good friend.  I'm far from perfect, would consider myself a judger, and some days am pretty sure I'm headed straight to hell.  I try to make up for it.  Today will not be one of those days.

I am so disgusted by the email above I can barely see straight.  For a woman with two healthy children to talk down to my friend that way makes me physically angry.  "You'll have a family someday" could not be more condescending.  To call the loss of human life "retarded" is simply awful, awful, awful.  I am truly disgusted by the level of stupidity, naivete, and sheer ignorance that seep from the words in that email.  

Finally, to offer your own healthy child for her to 'hold'... she might as well have slapped her in the face and said "I take my own kids for granted.  Want to play with them?  They'll take the place of your dead son.".  It would have been equally as insensitive.  

To top it all off, the email came from someone who professes to be close to God.  Who relies on the Bible for guidance.  This time, one of those steered her wrong.  She was trying to be kind.  That's even more mind boggling.

Ignorance must be absolute, sheer, utter, bliss.

The Best part?  My friend is healing.


Aly said...

Still cannot believe this.

Fortunately, I think the image of you & I beating down this "emailer" has our friend smiling.

CaSandra said...

I just can't believe this!

I was raised (as old-fashioned as it may be)if you don't have anything nice to say... say nothing at all!

I know that nothing I can say will bring your dear friend comfort that she is needing at this difficult time, but I do want to let you know how important it was for me to read *from your original post:


Not, they were going to name him Harrison... the name they had picked out for him was Harrison... simply... HARRISON IS HIS NAME!

Although his life only lasted 8 magical months, he will ALWAYS be their son... and HARRISON IS HIS NAME!