I can't complain. I really can't complain.
After Cannon was born I took 16 weeks off of work and dreaded returning. However, I was determined to go back fulltime until my contract expired to see if it was what I wanted. It was not.
My mom worked fulltime the whole time we were growing up. In fact, she made more money than my dad and traveled all the time. But that worked for her. She had fulltime help at home and it worked for her. Fulltime did not work for me. I just didn't feel like I was 100% anywhere (and spending 20 or 30K a year on fulltime help is less than appealing). I wasn't 100% at work because I was missing Cannon and dealing with mommy guilt (which is just the absolute worst irrational feeling ever). When I was home there was so much to do: cook, clean, bills, etcetera. I was never 100% present with Dan and Cannon either.
I never fancied myself at stay at home mom. I mean I fantasize about being that cute mom who looks and dresses the part with her adorable children scurrying off to book club or playdates or dropping the kids at preschool and heading off to have my hair done and have lunch with friends. Granted, I don't know any of those moms (in fact, they may only exist on television) but I would love to be one. Not gonna happen.
So, I knew when my contract was up that I wasn't ready to stay home all the time but working 40 hours a week just wasn't a good option either. I must have tricked the people at work into believing I know what I'm doing and persuaded them to let me work three days a week. I gave up benefits and some cash but I had four day weekends. Now, 6 months after I went down to three days, I'm down to two (by choice). Now I work on Mondays and Tuesdays and spend the rest of the week at home.
I'll be clipping some more coupons (maybe I will become one of those coupon people I blogged about not long ago... probably not) and proving I can be frugal. But more than that, it means I'll have five day weekends. It means three days a week Cannon will be at home with me. He'll still get what I consider to be invaluable interaction and learning at daycare two days a week too. It also means that two days a week I get adult interaction and get to do what I always knew I would--report. It's not a passion anymore but I still like doing it (and I'm picking up some freelance 'media training' work on the side so that keeps my foot in the professional world and also hopefully leads to bigger and better...).
My network dreams are over. My dreams are now about a healthy, happy family and raising children who are honest, caring and kind. And if I can play reporter two days a week, I'll take it.
The Best part? Most people have five day work weeks. I have five day weekends.