Thursday, July 23, 2009

A Small Victory...

Thanks to unseasonably cool temperatures (I would like summer to come back) this morning, I pulled out some jeans. Not my designer 'skinny' jeans (not skinny like tapered, skinny like they fit when I'm skinny) but a nice pair of Gap jeans. The last time I put these jeans on, they fit but they were snug. Muffin top snug. So, this morning, I pull them on, noticing that they're roomier in the thigh and as I button and zip them there it isn't! No muffin top!

Now my friends and others (including my 2 followers) may judge. I would judge. I am a judger and I am friends with judgers (as Natalie would say 'When you judge others, you judge yourself'. I don't care). Pregnancy for me was an excuse to eat what I wanted. I gained way too much weight (I don't even know how much because I stopped looking, and then after Cannon was born I asked how much and the doctor's office couldn't find it. I took that as a sign that I didn't need to know). I (I should say we, Dan and I) ate ice cream several times a week. My workouts came to a screeching halt at 12 weeks and I was lazy. I was pregnant, fat, and lazy. I regret it now. Because now, as Cannon approaches his first birthday I am finally to the point where my clothes are starting to fit like the used to. I still have 5 pounds (and I know exactly where it is) that I need to shed.

It has taken much longer than it should for me to lose the weight and the reasons are many. I refuse to quit drinking. I have a love affair with wine and with each glass, I love 100 calories. I don't/ can't workout 7 days a week. I love food. So to say that I haven't exactly 'put my mind' to losing the weight is fair. But I am confident that by Cannon's first birthday I will be back in the skinny jeans, sans muffin top. My body of course, will never be the same but he's worth it.

I also learned a valuable lesson from my post pregnancy body. Before I got pregnant, I was not fat. I had a great body and wish I had valued it for what it was instead of constantly feeling fat. Rest assured, when I get my last five pounds off, I will value my body. The other lesson of course is for when we decide to have another baby. It is not an excuse to gorge, ice cream can be consumed once a week (instead of daily) and enjoyed, and the "I'm eating for 2" line is bullshit.

The Best Part? This little boy makes the weight and post baby body feel like badges of honor.


Aly said...

I'll never forget, when I was first pregnant with Jack, I was talking to a group of friends about gaining weight. Most of them said I'd gain it, but lose the weight soon enough. One person though, the same one who called you a child bride, said she'd be happy to see me "finally get fat". It has always been my motivation to lose baby weight! I agree with you, our post-baby bodies are absolutely badges of honor.

You are working so hard -- those last 5 pounds will soon be a distant memory.

Corey said...

Oh... to be a child bride again :) The thing is, I'm not working that hard. I just had a bag of popcorn. But I guess thats' better than a bag of chips! I've found a good balance and I'm good with it. If only this midsection weight would disappear (perhaps tonight will be the night)... :)

the4benhams said...

I definatly have the muffin top:(